December 14
I m Pro dowry.
A week ago, my girl friend asked me Manish what are your views on dowry. As I realized (while formatting the answer in my mind) like a lot of things in life, I didn’t had any views on it. Being a very lazy person, I do not conclude on anything unless it hits me and is within my area of influence. Since I gave her a (TAT) turn around time of 24 hours, I started scratching my mind what are my actual views on Dowry.
We read in newspapers and see it in news channels everyday. Flashing stories of dowry victims. Girls burnt alive by filthy money hogging in-laws. The ever so obvious conclusion that any sane person would derive out of this is that Dowry is a curse of our society.
The question I want to touch base today is that are we very good at drawing the conclusions on the basis of immediate evidence.
I want to challenge that common wisdom and really want to get into the crux of the matter.
The noble reason why dowry (Dahej Pratha as it is called) came into existence was primarily to acknowledge the fact that a girl is starting a new chapter in her life, She would be staying in a new house, with a new family starting from a scratch and building her nest all over again. To do that successfully she would need monetary support system and dowry was a way of providing that.
To be honest, even in the contemporary scheme of things, that is a wonderful concept. In nuclear families if two people have decided to tie a knot and live together in holy matrimony, they would require initial capital to start off the things (a house, gadgets, utensils blah blah….)
Why do we assume that this would be a guys prerogative, if marriage is about companionship and living together, its about equal partnership in gains as well as the expenditure.
Add to that In India, I have noticed majority of girls do not claim any share in their fathers property. Which according to me is an open declaration by father that I do not treat my sons and daughters equally.
And hence, probably a few centuries ago, this process took shape, where a lump sum amount of girls share of property (dowry) was given to the girl indirectly telling her that now you do not have any claim in the paternal property and we have given you your share.
Now lets come to the main problem at hand, How come such a simple and beautiful system of money transfer became the curse of society.
If you ask me, I would say the problem is not dowry but women empowerment and education. The money they are given by their fathers is not in their possession. Before marriage their share is enjoyed by their father and brothers, after marriage their life doesn't change, just the owners do.
Its because of lack of education that they are not empowered and are not aware of their rights. And even if they are aware of their rights, they don’t have the courage or the exposure to claim their own life.
In conclusion I would say I am Pro Dowry. There is nothing wrong in the concept. In fact I will go on to say it’s a beautiful concept to ensure equality among sexes. It is a way of giving a girl child equal share in her fathers property.
The problem is in the implementation. And isn't that true for whole of our Constitution. Rules are their but if people are not educated and empowered, They cannot use them and would remain victim of their own ignorance.
-----------------------------------------
I m Pro dowry.
A week ago, my girl friend asked me Manish what are your views on dowry. As I realized (while formatting the answer in my mind) like a lot of things in life, I didn’t had any views on it. Being a very lazy person, I do not conclude on anything unless it hits me and is within my area of influence. Since I gave her a (TAT) turn around time of 24 hours, I started scratching my mind what are my actual views on Dowry.
We read in newspapers and see it in news channels everyday. Flashing stories of dowry victims. Girls burnt alive by filthy money hogging in-laws. The ever so obvious conclusion that any sane person would derive out of this is that Dowry is a curse of our society.
The question I want to touch base today is that are we very good at drawing the conclusions on the basis of immediate evidence.
I want to challenge that common wisdom and really want to get into the crux of the matter.
Why would our seers and saints promote such a wrath.
The noble reason why dowry (Dahej Pratha as it is called) came into existence was primarily to acknowledge the fact that a girl is starting a new chapter in her life, She would be staying in a new house, with a new family starting from a scratch and building her nest all over again. To do that successfully she would need monetary support system and dowry was a way of providing that.
To be honest, even in the contemporary scheme of things, that is a wonderful concept. In nuclear families if two people have decided to tie a knot and live together in holy matrimony, they would require initial capital to start off the things (a house, gadgets, utensils blah blah….)
Why do we assume that this would be a guys prerogative, if marriage is about companionship and living together, its about equal partnership in gains as well as the expenditure.
Add to that In India, I have noticed majority of girls do not claim any share in their fathers property. Which according to me is an open declaration by father that I do not treat my sons and daughters equally.
And hence, probably a few centuries ago, this process took shape, where a lump sum amount of girls share of property (dowry) was given to the girl indirectly telling her that now you do not have any claim in the paternal property and we have given you your share.
Now lets come to the main problem at hand, How come such a simple and beautiful system of money transfer became the curse of society.
If you ask me, I would say the problem is not dowry but women empowerment and education. The money they are given by their fathers is not in their possession. Before marriage their share is enjoyed by their father and brothers, after marriage their life doesn't change, just the owners do.
Its because of lack of education that they are not empowered and are not aware of their rights. And even if they are aware of their rights, they don’t have the courage or the exposure to claim their own life.
In conclusion I would say I am Pro Dowry. There is nothing wrong in the concept. In fact I will go on to say it’s a beautiful concept to ensure equality among sexes. It is a way of giving a girl child equal share in her fathers property.
The problem is in the implementation. And isn't that true for whole of our Constitution. Rules are their but if people are not educated and empowered, They cannot use them and would remain victim of their own ignorance.
-----------------------------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment