Speed of Life

December 24
Speed of Life
Life is always one step ahead of u. Its almost imposible to catch it, it is like a dog trying to catch his own tail.
Its like playing chess with vishwanathan anand, u keep on planning ur little moves, thinking u have everything in control or atleast a hope that everything will be in control and little do u know that he has planned the whole game in advance.
irrespective of your small meaningless moves, the destiny is inevitable.and the funny thing is when the eventual will happen, u will still get a feeling that u were so close to acheiving the impossible, and only if this could have happened or this should'nt have.
It seems that life is about reacting to situations. again taking the chess example, when u play with a better player, all your time is spent in defending the attacks. u don't have a purpose, all you are doing is just reacting to what the master is throwing at you.
I have been getting these thoughts off late. Its been 09 months that my dad departed and since then i feel i m just reacting to things thrown at me suddenly. After close to 05 years in bpo/kpo industry, an year ago I was working with world's second biggest Real estate company at a very commanding position with a commanding salary with a chance of going and probably settling in us of a. I still remember writing somewhere my dream of settling in GOA.
Less than an year later everythin has changed on its head. i m working with American express at an executive level at a salary which is 60% of my last drawn and incentives are like 40.
It seems everything i do now has a direct correlation. my job, my shift, timelines for coming home, and a sense of strange responsibility in everythin i do.not that i m complaining or running away from situation, however i reckon while doing all this I feel like playing against a better player.Life should be more than just reacting to whats thrown at you.
Now the answer, I meditated on this and realized that if you compete with a bigger player, u will always b frustrated. If i look around, i see minority of people who are happy with their situation are the ones who do no compete with the situation they are in, they do not compare their present with past or aspire about future. Now that does not mean that they run away from their responsibilty, its just that they do their job without being attached to it. They are just there at that momment. STILL in the state of bliss.
Easier said than done. at the expense of sounding repetetive, i must say it all boils down to letting go off the mind
mind is the root cause of all evils and blissfullness is equal to mindlessness.job of the mind is to think, it can never be at peace, infact peace of mind is a vague statement, it can only be peace of no mind.
the reason i was gettin these thoughts of being reacting to situation and not having control is because i am comparing my past with my current state of affairs.
FOR me to reach a stage where mind does not bother. to reach a stage where I m in the momment every momment without my past experience and future aspirations is like meeting GOD, being GOD, feel godliness.